12/27/05 Christmas
ok, Christmas really sucked this year, lots of yelling & fighting, and I wonder why I'm never down here. It's funny really. They're my family and I can't stand them but yet I want to be around em' I've taken it REALLY easy these past few days and I feel worthless. While I'm working and going to school I wish to do nothing and now that I have this buffet of laziness before me, I feel worthless, I need something to do, go back to work, do something ! I got so bored that I setup a domain controller for my network in Eufaula. I've been watching season one of the OC and OZ and I must say they fucking rock. I'm not one to watch that kinda crap, I actually feel socially smarter from watching this stuff.
This holiday has been hard because this is around the time when Erin cheated on me and temporarily ruined my life. I can't really say that because I had it coming. I wasn't true to her feelings and it wound up biting me in the ass.
So much shit is going on in the family. Me & larry were out on the back porch at grannies watching the sun go down when he started telling me about his problems. Even if I only got one side of the story, nobody deserves what happened to him. I feel sorry for him and I'm glad I was there to talk to. When people are looking to vent emotions or just need guidance, i feel that is when jimmy shines. I may not have the perfect answers but it always comes from my heart.
Bonnie seriously needs some paxil or zoloft or something, she is outta control. I love her to death and she is the funniest person I know, but she needs some medications to control the bi-polar dance.
the most amazing thing happened before I came down to eufaula for Christmas. I got a card from Kelly's Mom with a bunch of pictures of Kelly, telling me to hang in there and if we can make it through this, we can make it through anything !! the pictures were a spread from the last 5 years with one baby picture (2years old) very cute, she had a bowl haircut !! I feel bad because I did'nt think to send them anything for Christmas. I mean, I ran to wal-mart and picked out a card and overnighted it but that was lame... I still think about her all the freakin time and wonder if I'll ever see her, blahh blahh blahh. I yearn for the day we meet up and start off where we left it. The greatest fear I have is that she has moved on or that I'm the last thing on her mind in that blissful paradise... We will definitley be different people when we meet, 2 years will change both of us completley. All I can do is hope and try to keep myself sane.
Whats even more lame is that I bought presents for Thomas, Rolaids, and Zeb but nothing for my own family. I don't really know why. laziness sure. I'll hook them all up someday somehow.
This holiday has been hard because this is around the time when Erin cheated on me and temporarily ruined my life. I can't really say that because I had it coming. I wasn't true to her feelings and it wound up biting me in the ass.
So much shit is going on in the family. Me & larry were out on the back porch at grannies watching the sun go down when he started telling me about his problems. Even if I only got one side of the story, nobody deserves what happened to him. I feel sorry for him and I'm glad I was there to talk to. When people are looking to vent emotions or just need guidance, i feel that is when jimmy shines. I may not have the perfect answers but it always comes from my heart.
Bonnie seriously needs some paxil or zoloft or something, she is outta control. I love her to death and she is the funniest person I know, but she needs some medications to control the bi-polar dance.
the most amazing thing happened before I came down to eufaula for Christmas. I got a card from Kelly's Mom with a bunch of pictures of Kelly, telling me to hang in there and if we can make it through this, we can make it through anything !! the pictures were a spread from the last 5 years with one baby picture (2years old) very cute, she had a bowl haircut !! I feel bad because I did'nt think to send them anything for Christmas. I mean, I ran to wal-mart and picked out a card and overnighted it but that was lame... I still think about her all the freakin time and wonder if I'll ever see her, blahh blahh blahh. I yearn for the day we meet up and start off where we left it. The greatest fear I have is that she has moved on or that I'm the last thing on her mind in that blissful paradise... We will definitley be different people when we meet, 2 years will change both of us completley. All I can do is hope and try to keep myself sane.
Whats even more lame is that I bought presents for Thomas, Rolaids, and Zeb but nothing for my own family. I don't really know why. laziness sure. I'll hook them all up someday somehow.
posted by honkyusa at 2:51 AM
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